Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence

About Sexual Assault and Rape

Sexual assault is any forced or coerced sexual activity such as unwanted touchings, committed against a person’s will or without consent. Rape is a sexual assault that includes but is not limited to forced vaginal, anal, and oral penetration.

Rape and sexual assault are crimes of violence with sex used as a weapon that can he committed by strangers, friends, relatives, dates, partners, lovers, and spouses.

Remember

The assault was not your fault. You are the victim of a crime.
You are not going crazy. Any reaction or feeling is normal.
Sexual assault is a major crisis. Take good care of yourself.
People often lack understanding about the issues of sexual assault. Don’t be surprised if people’s responses to your assault seem insensitive.
Ask for help. You are not alone.
You will survive.
You have every right to be upset. Take time to understand and deal with your feelings.
It is often helpful to find safe ways to express your anger.
Find a caring person and talk about your experience or call a rape crisis hotline.

What Is Rape?

Rape is sexual penetration without consent and with the use of force or threat of force. Acquaintance rape is forced penetration by someone known to the victim. Date rape is forced penetration by someone with whom one has an on-going social relationship (i.e. dating, good friends).

Someone can force another person to have sex by:

Physical force: holding down or beating up the victim, or using a weapon
Threat of force: threatening to hurt the victim or using physical size or strength to intimidate.
Drugs or Alcohol: getting the victim drunk, putting a date rape drug in the victim’s drink, or taking advantage of the fact that someone is too drunk or high to consent to having sex.

Remember

Rape is an act of violence, power, and control.
Rape is often planned or carried out by intimate partners, acquaintances, family members, or strangers.
Rape is motivated primarily out of anger and/or a need to feel powerful by controlling, dominating, or humiliating the victim.
Survivors are not responsible for causing their assaults; only offenders are to be blamed for sexual assault and rape.

Risk Reduction

One of the most important issues that our society faces is the prevention of sexual assault. However, it is important to remember that only the rapist can prevent rape. While you can take basic steps to reduce the risk of being sexually assaulted, you can't prevent sexual assault from occurring. Because the responsibility for preventing rape is on the rapist, you should never place blame and think that you could have prevented rape or sexual assault.

Here are some steps you can take to reduce the risk of sexual assault.

Danger Signals

Beware of anyone who:

Does not listen to what you say, ignores you, or talks over you
Invades your personal space boundaries
Does what they want regardless of what you want
Makes you feel guilty if you are not comfortable having sex
Is excessively jealous or possessive
Drinks heavily
Deals with stress by raising his/her voice or uses physical force

General recommendations for reducing risk

Set sexual limits. It is your body, and no one has the right to force you to do anything you do not want to do. The sooner you communicate firmly and clearly your sexual intentions the easier it will be for your partner to hear and accept your decision.
Be assertive on your dates. Do not do anything you do not want to just to avoid disagreement or unpleasant interaction.
Maintain control of your comfort level. If you feel things are getting out of your control, be loud in protesting, leave, or go for help.
Use a confident voice and body posture. If you want the person to stop, look directly at him or her and say "NO" in a firm, serious voice.
Trust your intuition. If you feel uncomfortable, scared, or pressured, voice your discomfort or leave the situation.
Avoid secluded places.

On dates or in social situations

Don't leave your drink unattended
Get your own drink and open it yourself
Have your own ride home
Avoided secluded places
Avoid people who ignore your feelings or try to make decisions for you
Always let somebody know where you are going to be
Set limits for yourself
Be assertive and say what you want

At home

Leave some lights on when you're not at home
Use the "peepholes" when someone is at the door
Never allow a stranger to enter when you are alone
Use deadbolt locks when home alone

Walking

Plan your route and walk confidently
Avoid alleys and other isolated spots
Be aware of who is around you
If you are being followed, go into a store or knock on a door for help

In your car

Have your keys out and ready when walking to your car, especially at night
Check the back seat and underneath your car before getting in it
Keep your car doors locked, even when you are in it
If possible, carry a cell phone

On the phone

If you receive an obscene phone call, just hang up
Don't let anyone know that you are home by yourself

Important Reminder

No one asks to be raped, even if:

You feel she/he is teasing you
She/he dresses provocatively and leads you on
You think "no" means "yes"
You have had sex with her/him before
You have paid for dinner and/or given her/him expensive gifts
You think she/he enjoys being forced or persuaded to have sex
She/he is under the influence of alcohol or drugs

Guidelines for prevention

Be clear about how your partner feels. If you are confused about the messages you are getting, ask for clarification.
Do not assume you know your partner's comfort level in intimate situations. You and your partner may not want the same degree of intimacy. Do not pressure your partner into any sexual activity.
If your partner is not comfortable with having sex, do not feel rejected as a person. Your partner is expressing a decision about participating in a single act at that time.
Be clear that sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
Realize that desire for affection is not the same as desire for sex.